This has been an extremely long, trying, stressful month. I think I'm going to be giving myself some therapy so log off if you need to! My Mom has come home from Texas and it has been a very hard transition for her. It was my sister's choice and decision to send my mom home. That in itself is a stressful situation and truly another novel I could write....but I won't drag you into the saga of that family mess. I knew it would be very hard on my mom if she did it. My family made arrangements for her to begin living at a wonderful Assisted Living Facility. It was wonderful and the staff was fabulous. We arrived there late Saturday night and from that moment on it has gone from bad to worse. I stayed with her for 2 nights there. The 3rd day I had to go back to work and after phone calls learning she had left the facility twice, my husband and I picked her up and brought her to our home for the next 3 days which were no better. She left our home as well, we have been to a hospital for evaluation, and now she is admitted to a secure unit in the nursing home. That, too, is not going well. She is an angry, mad, confused, agitated 98 pound lady. She suffers from Vascular Dementia and is also having severe Sundowning in the evenings. They have requested that my family and I not see her right now in order to get her stabilized and her medicine regulated. That has been very hard for us. But we, as well as the doctors know, that all she will say to us are those famous words that we have heard constantly since we brought her home "TAKE ME HOME". And she means it and she will try to go. So we are definitely relying on our FAITH, having a lot of HOPE, and giving Mom all the LOVE we can as well as being showered with a lot of LOVE and prayers by family and friends. God is really getting us through this and he is walking with us every day. I feel like this one is out of my hands completely and I'm thankful it's in God's hands. He is the master at plans and he has a plan for my mom and I've just got to be patient and let it unfold. I just want her to know we are doing everything we can to help her.
I had not had a nights sleep in 5 nights so I'm now trying to get myself caught up in order to be strong to help her.
I will say that it is very hard to see your mom suffer with the confusion and agitation. The roles have reversed and we are now caregiving to my mom. There is a sweet book about how the roles reverse for a child and parent. I can never read it without bawling my eyes out.
I feel at peace that my dad would understand and agree to all that we are doing for my mom. I'm also thankful he does not have to watch my mom go through this. I pray that all the decisions we make are in the best interest of my mom for her safety, health, and happiness. If any of you have every gone through this, I would welcome your advice and encouragement.
Matthew 28:20 (King James Version)
20Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.
5 comments:
Hang in there sweet sis in law. You and your mother are in our prayers. I was out of town for part of this week, but want you to know that if you need ANYTHING, please YELP! ;)
Love you.
Oh I am so sorry it has been a hard week. I will continue to pray for your Momma and your family. I know to well how strained family relationships can wear on you too.
Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers,
Get some much needed rest!
Carrie~
God is control!
Isaiah 41:10
Hi Tanya,
I just read this post to my husband as it could have been our story with my mom almost exactly. I am sorry that you are going through this. It is so heartbreaking. I began my blog about the time this all began for us. It was the ONLY thing that let me escape from the stress and sadness. I debated whether I would share what I was going through, but after I did I was contacted by a few other ladies who were also going through it. It helped just to know I wasn't alone. Please feel free to e-mail me if you would like to talk further.
It's interesting because Faith, Hope & Love remained with me throughout our ordeal. I believe that verse ends with ~ and the greatest of these is LOVE. One thing I can tell you for sure is that despite all of the confusion, agitation, fears, etc. that my mom lived with, Love always did remain. Though I never knew what to expect when I visited her, I know she always knew I was there to bring her Love.
I hope you are able to get some sleep as it is important to take care of yourself. I know that is much easier said than done. I remember during that time I had trouble getting a good night's sleep and I used to get so scared every time my cell phone rang.
I am keeping you and your mom in my prayers.
Hugs,
Kim
Wow this is tough. My grandmother is going through a similar situation she has dementia also and is now in a secure nursing home. The evenings are the worse for her. So my mom goes every night to sit with her for awhile. I am sorry I am not sure what advice to give but I can pray for you and your mother for sure ~Love Heather
Oh goodness sweet friend of mine. I am so sorry it has been so rough. You have been in my thoughts and prayers (even at two in the morning when I was wide awake for no reason, well...maybe I was awake cuz you needed prayer and our Father knew that!) Don't have any words of wisdom but can send you a big hug and listening ear. So, feel free to type away. Take care!
Nancy
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