Friday, July 30, 2010

Vacation ... Branson Style!!!!!!

My hubby and I had taken my Momma to OK City last Wed. to meet my sister to have her go home with her to Texas to have a change. She (due to the Alzheimers) is still thinking my Dad is alive and should be home. She is doing as well as can be expected and we are happy about that. Thank you so so so much for all your thoughts and prayers.  I continue to read the kind notes that give me strength. 
My family (minus Z) had planned to go to Branson, MO earlier but we postponed with all of the unexpectedness that has come.  R and I now have a new philosophy..."Make plans but be prepared to change plans at any given moment!" It's a more realistic and true way of life! 

I put pics on (they are in a crazy mixed up order...kind of how I live!!! Simplicity is also a new philosophy. "Don't sweat the small stuff"...I love that!

Succotash ....ONE of our favs...

Daddy and D
A much needed cool off place

Okay okay...we got a little out of control with the hat stand....but boy it was fun!!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Trusting His Answers

I love summertime and I love my front porch (some call it a veranda...sounds so fancy to me!!).  My family spends A LOT of time there. I keep magazines, books, candles, plants, afghans, and oh music player there. I love coming home if I'm out running errands and hearing my music playing.  In the summer, my hubby and I start most every day there with coffee and a devotional.  Lace now joins us since she is now living so close!! And Harley...oh yes, Harley is always there wanting to find the cats to play!!

Today I was alone for coffee/devotional time and I read about "trusting God's answers". This summer in particular I have been asking a lot of questions to God. (Particularly since my Dad has passed away and my mom is coping with a new life without him and living with Alzheimers.) I'm asking a lot of questions BUT then shutting up and listening for God's answer. Not the answer I expect to hear or the one I may want to hear but GOD'S ANSWER.  I've found that I have to be patient and listen....really listen.  The devotional said to "trust His wisdom, His righteousness, and His love.  Always." It is important to not have faith in prayer, but in the God who answers the prayer. It is so comforting to know that I can just turn it all over to God...I don't have to know the answer or solve it by myself.  Many times, my prayer includes something along the lines of "I have no idea what to do here, or what to say, or what to feel.....I turn it ALL over to you Lord."

My verse for today is:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5

And this is the song I'm humming today:

If the world from you withhold of its silver and its gold,

And you have to get along with meager fare,

Just remember, in His Word, how He feeds the little bird;

Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there.

Leave it there, leave it there,

Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there.

If you trust and never doubt, He will surely bring you out.

Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there.

If your body suffers pain and your health you can’t regain,

And your soul is almost sinking in despair,

Jesus knows the pain you feel, He can save and He can heal;

Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there.

When your enemies assail and your heart begins to fail,

Don’t forget that God in Heaven answers prayer;

He will make a way for you and will lead you safely through.

Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there.

When your youthful days are gone and old age is stealing on,

And your body bends beneath the weight of care;

He will never leave you then, He’ll go with you to the end.

Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there.

Hope you have a wonderful sunshiney happy day!!!!!!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

All Because Two People Fell In Love

With this ring....I thee wed........

Today is my husband and I's 26th wedding anniversary! We have no big plans...but that's okay. I think Lowes/Walmart is on the To Do List. Our summer has been a little overwhelming and so calm and quiet is good. Last year for our 25th we lived it up.  We actually went out to eat at Cheesecake Factory on the Plaza (for you locals!) and had a nice evening. Then in Sept. for my 50th birthday and our 25th anniversary we went to Turks and Caicos for a beach getaway. 
So Happy Anniversary to my sweetie! He is a good Christian man, a wonderful father to our 4 babies/kids/adults (yikes!), a caring spiritual leader for our family, and a one of a kind husband!! And someday he will be one great Grandpa!!! I'm so grateful for him. He is a blessing every day for me. Remember the warm/head over heels in love/googley eyes/romantic love feeling you have when you get married? I still have it... but there is also now the comfort of a deeper love with my best friend.
I think I'll keep him another 26 years!! (But I would like maybe a little tune up in the snoring department!)

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Trusting in God...

I write this post with a very heavy heart and perhaps for a chance to let some "pain" out. My Dad passed away VERY unexpectedly on July 3. I will share a little of the anguish that we have been coping with.  My daughter was married on June 12 and the next weekend she was on her honeymoon so we went to Colorado for a quick getaway. The next weekend my mom's sister passed away unexpectedly in Missouri as she sat on her porch and had a heart attack at 78. We took my mom who has Alzheimers (as well as her sister that passed away) to the funeral and my sister took my mom home with her to Texas for a visit after the funeral.  My Dad was fine when we left to go to the funeral, but did complain of his back hurting. He has never been in a hospital, never been on a prescription, and I can count the times he has been to the doctor on one hand. He had been diagnosed with Basal Cell skin cancer behind his ear but wanted NO treatment. I told him if his back wasn't better, we would get in to the Dr. when I got back from the funeral. He kissed my mom on her cheek and said he would see her soon. That was on a Tues. I talked to him Tues, Wed and Thurs on the phone. He did not answer the phone on Friday, July 2. My husband and I were not concerned as he was always out and about visiting people, taking popcorn to people, doing a project, redoing a saddle for someone, building a trailer, etc. at 80 years old. Sat. a.m. my family was to leave to go visit my sister in law and family for the 4th (Auntie J) and the van was loaded and ready. I wanted to talk to Dad again before we left.  I called, he didn't answer and at that moment, God spoke to me and whispered somehow that Dad was gone. I knew in my heart but couldn't tell my family.  So I told them to wait and I wanted to go down and see Dad before I left.  When I got there, the house was locked, all vehicles were in the garage and God spoke again in a whisper. I called my husband to come.  We got assistance from 2 wonderful officers who did the very hard job of breaking in (my sister had my key to Mom and Dad's house at the time....God knew I shouldn't go in) and my Dad was found in his bathroom and had suffered a heart attack and passed away immediately. He had two special things beside him on the floor....a metal tin he had made for our daughter, Darb, that they were beginning to collect dimes in and a framed picture of our son winning the state track meet in pole vault. The preacher said at his service that the sun really did rise because of his grandkids and I guess in his eyes it did. This was probably the hardest time I've had, my family had. My children came to Grandma/Grandpa's house and we endured a lot of pain that day. It was hard watching their hearts hurting so bad. My sister and husband and Mom drove home from Texas on July 4 and we had the pain of telling my mom the news. With the Alzheimers, it has been extremely hard to comprehend. Today, she still thinks Dad is late for supper, won't answer the phone, and is staying out too late.  It breaks our hearts. We buried my Dad on Thursday, July 8th. It was a hard day, but a day that honored my Dad with beautiful military honors. Family and friends have been comforting, supportive, loving, caring, and giving.  They have held us up and taken us in to their hearts and got us through this very sad time.  I am overwhelmed by how many flowers/plants, cards, food, calls, and visits we have been showered with. The cards are absolutely beautiful and so meaningful and have given me so much strength. We are touched and grateful for every act of love given to us. And we continue to turn to God for strength and help and guidance to walk us through each day.  I have now experienced faith being the substance of things not seen but the evidence of things hoped for. My family is now the caregiver for my mom as she cannot live alone. It is sad and yet we enjoy our time with her very much. She will soon be going to Texas to visit my sister. We are unsure how long....we now live on a day-to-day basis with my mom,.  My Dad had been the caregiver and was doing a good job of it.  It was hard and tiring and trying and exhausting for him.  He and I talked and understood that Mom's condition would only get worse. My mom has lost her aunt, brother, sister, and now her husband in a little over a year.
Many of you have felt the earthly sting of death so I know you understand. Time really does begin to heal those strong open wounds. Memories seem to help with the hurt and the tears begin to change into a slight smile as you can remember good warm thoughts. My Dad got to watch his beautiful granddaughter get married ... we are so thankful he was there. I personally have not begun to grieve or focus has been on my mom.  But God will help with that. I'm waking in the mornings and putting my feet right in God's footsteps whereever he leads questions asked!!! God is perfect and why should I try to figure anything out when it's already done for me?  I listen to his quiet whispers of what to do.
I appreciate you listening to me on this sad note. I had planned to post some pics of a beautiful wedding and will do that soon, but will tend to Mom a  few more days before she goes to my sister. If I may ask, please put Mom in your prayers.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
(A huge thank you to my sweet friends that have left me such thoughtful touched my heart deeply.)

As the funeral service ended that day, a friend was leaving and outside the front doors there lay a shiny dime on the sidewalk. He picked it up and it was given to Darb....I believe in my heart, Dad left it there for her. He was a huge coin collector and this has to be the most special one he ever touched.

Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you....
Psalms 55:22