Friday, September 3, 2010

Happy Birthday Momma!

Today is my Mom's 74th birthday!  She probably won't read this blog but I still want to "give tribute" and brag on her.  She is currently living in Texas with my sister and her husband.  My Dad passed away of a sudden heart attack on July 3 of this year and because she has Alzheimers, she cannot live alone.  The journey that my family has been on since that day has been hard and emotional.  My mom stayed with my family/we stayed with her for 2 weeks after my Dad's funeral.  And now my mom is quite far away.  This is the first time I haven't been geographically close to my mom (other than my college years!)  It is quite uneasy and odd.  I talk to Mom about every day on the phone but to not "SEE" her is very different.  My mom has always been my "ally". I could go to her or her to me if my sister or my dad had us exasperated! Our relationship is very different now...our conversations are very different. That is not a bad thing just an adjustment.  She is unable to retain the memory that my dad is gone so we speak now as if Dad is still alive. I have mixed feelings about that. She doesn't have to bear the burden of grieving or mourning my Dad gone and I'm thankful for that, but many times I wish I could share MY sadness and grief with her. I wish I could cry to her.  My Mom is a really strong person.  She loves her family very much, particularly her 4 grandkids.  They are her pride and joy.  Mom is not an "emotional" person.  I have seen her cry only a handful of times. My Mom and Dad were married over 55 years. That is a true accomplishment and endeavor! I'm so proud that they stuck together "in good times and in bad, and in sickness and in health." When we broke the news to her about Dad, she handled it so well and so controlled. Her first words were "This is how he would have wanted it."  I said to her a couple of days later, "Mom, why do you not break down and bawl like I do on things?" She simply said, "I just know that if I start, it may be very hard to stop."  I respected that but I worry about her. I have watched the roles of my mom and I reverse.  My mom was always the one who took care of me...the way a mother does.  And now, my sister and I are going to care for her.  She is constantly saying that we don't need to deal out her pills to her, do her laundry, run her bath water, fix her meals, etc.  but that is what God intended and that is what we will do.

Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. (Exodus 20:12)

That is what my Dad would want.  That is what I promised my Dad I would do. So....... HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!! I will miss seeing my mom on her birthday, but we will talk and we are sending her flowers. She will say, "You shouldn't have done that!" This is a joyous and happy day for me to celebrate.  We love you and are so happy to have you for our Mom and Grandma!! 

Thank you for allowing me to share my mom's special day with you! 

I Celebrate Your Life
Mom, your birthday means so much to me,
To have you in my life another year,
The time I spent enfolded in your love,
Each day, each moment with you is so dear.
I cherish the very special bond we have.
You lift my spirit in so many ways.
I celebrate your life; I honor you,
And send to you my love and care and praise.
By Joanna Fuchs

Mom, Lace, and I at Lacey's bridal shower in May of this year

My Mom and her brother and some of their grandkids
January 23, 1955
Darb, Grandma, and Grandpa on Halloween quite a few years ago!!

My mom and I

Mother's Day 2010


Dee said...

Happy Birthday to your mom. How blessed she is to have a loving family to care for her.I always say what goes aroung comes around.Your mom must have been very special. Blessings to you Tanya. Alzheimers is a difficult illness to deal with.

PBKISSES said...

Happy Birthday to your Mama! She is such a sweet, sweet lady. I always enjoyed visiting with her, wish I could have done that more often. You are also amazing! Have a loverly day!